Player: Coach Susan, can we get a pet groundhog?
Player: Are you a dentist?
We spent 1 entire month going over defense and practicing it an hour a day before our first game. First game comes:
Me: Alright guys, first game...does anyone have any last minute questions?
Player: Oh yeah- How do you play defense?
Me: Good luck out there, Kid.
Player: I saw Chris making out with Emily in the hallway today and I was like, "Ew, that's like totally PDA. Get a room."
Me: Did you tell them that?
Player: No. I just subtweeted them.
*What the heck is subtweeting?!?!*
Player: Can you give us all of those pictures you took the other day?
Me: Yeah, I'll just upload them on facebook.
Player: Uh, that was so last spring. No one uses facebook anymore. It's all twitter.
*Then they probably subtweeted about me*
Player: Coach Susan, can you come to prom?
Player: How old are you?
Player: Oh, so you have like babies and stuff then, huh?
Me: You have a lot to learn.
Player: Do you have a boyfriend?
Player: Oh. My friend wanted me to tell you to tweet him. *is this what kid's do these days???*
Me: How old is your friend?
Me: Stay in school.
Why did I think coaching high school would be like a real-life High School Musical?! Maybe next year.